7/6/2019 0 Comments Job? No... School? No..I’m sure most people have heard of a little thing called “Disability Benefits”, or “SSI”, though, most people just call it disability.
It’s something you are able to receive if you are considered disabled. Because if you are a disabled person technically your’e not able to work, or not able to work enough to live, pay your bills, etc. To those of us living in the disability “world” it only makes sense that we would receive a little bit of help considering all of the pain were in, daily.. I mean we’re in so much pain there is NO way we could work full time, or at all. To people who don’t live in this world everyday, it seems a bit bizarre, maybe unfair, that there are people in this world who get free money just for hurting or being sick?! For me, it took a long time to decide that I was going to need help. To receive something like this every month, you have to swallow your pride and be able to accept the help. I didn’t want to admit that I wasn’t going to be able to work or live like every other adult, I wasn’t going to be able to move out on my own or support myself financially. To accept the help, I had to realize that I wasn’t going to be like every other 20-something adult. Not only was I born with the majority of my pain and illnesses, but I had failed spinal fusion that damaged my nerves, and destroyed my right leg. I had to accept the fact, that I was going to live with these chronic illnesses, and this chronic pain, as well as this surgery mistake. To muster up the courage and finally decide to apply for disability I had to come to terms with the fact, that my life wasn’t going to be the way I had expected. When I was younger I thought a lot about my future, I wanted to have a job that supported me, I wanted to move out on my own, I dreamed of going to college and becoming a pediatric nurse.. After college I would get married and start a family.. There is a grieving process that comes along with applying for disability, at least for me there was.. I still live at home, I don’t currently have a job, and I don’t go to college. I had to accept the fact that a lot of this wasn’t going to happen on my time line, or at all.. It can be devastating, but I try not to think about it too much.. So getting back to the “free money” thing, I don’t see it as free.. I live in pain every single day, my body was damaged during an operation, I’m not able to live, work, or go to school. These illnesses have cost me so much in my life.. This money is in no way free. It took me so long to be approved, unfortunately, there are people out there who try to play the system, who are dishonest, and that makes it harder for those of us who are honest.. Scoliosis isn’t considered a reason to be “disabled” so to appeal my case I had to hire an attorney and meet with a judge... I was SO nervous, everybody talked about how hard this judge was, how relentless and mean he could be.. He had made people cry, he had yelled, he argued.. So, I was scared to say the least. I got to the Social Security office, I was so scared, even the security guards knew how tough this judge was.. I got into the Court Room, and after speaking with judge for about 10 minutes he had approved my case.. My attorney and all of the security guards were shocked at how fast and nice he was, this was the quickest decision he had ever made.. To say I was relieved was the biggest understatement.. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I was going to be able to afford my bills, I was going to be able to afford my own groceries, gas, etc.. It’s not enough to live on my own, or live an extravagant lifestyle by any means, but I was going to be able to be independent.. I would no longer have to ask my mom for money, it lifted a financial burden for her as much as it did for me.. It may not be the traditional route of independence, but it definitely isn’t just “free money.” There is so much more to it then that. I fought battle after battle for this sliver of independence and I am not ashamed of that. People can judge, but they have no idea what it is like to live in this dysfunctional body.. I wish I could put into words the difficulty of this life.. But nobody will truly understand it until they’ve been there themselves..
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AuthorMy name is Madison, I have quite a few rare diseases and chronic illnesses. Archives
July 2019
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