4/22/2017 1 Comment The elephant in the room..This is something deeply personal that I want to share, actually, that I need to share..
I have this knot in my stomach, this hole in my heart, these feelings that I don't know how to process. I've let these feelings just sit for too long now.. It has kind of been like an injury that I've ignored, that I let get worse. I haven't tried to heal it, I haven't even wanted to acknowledge that there is an injury. I keep getting this feeling, I keep feeling like I need to write it all out, share my feelings, just FEEL my feelings. For about 3 or 4 years now INSTAGRAM, has been a passion of mine. I love to help people, I love to support people, and I love to be supported. Living with medical conditions is NOT easy, and at 15 years old I had just had my 3rd spinal fusion surgery, they put a screw in my L2 nerve, we didn't know it at the time, all we knew was I couldn't walk or move without excruciating pain.. Anyways, I was preparing to have my 4th spinal fusion, they were calling it exploratory surgery because they didn't know what was wrong or if anything was wrong. When they got in there it was a mess, and I still live with severe nerve damage to this day. So when I was 15, preparing to have my 4th spinal fusion surgery, I was lonely. I was so lonely. I had to stop going to public school because of the amount of pain I was in. My "friends" ? They stopped talking to me after my 1st spinal fusion surgery. So, I was lonely, Looking for support, and I found it. I found my biggest support within the Instagram medical community, more like Instagram family. From then on, I was posting everyday, I was writing encouraging posts for others, but I was also writing encouraging posts for myself. I was sharing scar pictures, updates from doctors appointments, I was sharing my concerns and my worries but also my victories, big and small. I shared my story and gained so much support. My 4th surgery was a cake walk, with all the supporters I had. I mean, it was painful, but I was so encouraged and loved, that I felt like I could do it. But there was one {elephant} in particular that I got really close with, in fact when I had my 4th surgery, {theirs} was only one day before mine..
1 Comment
|
AuthorMy name is Madison, I have quite a few rare diseases and chronic illnesses. Archives
July 2019
Categories |